Tuesday, December 2, 2014
Contradictions
I've been thinking a lot lately, mostly about my past and my future. All throughout high school, I've felt that I've been babied a lot by certain teachers. We have to raise our hand to speak because it is considered rude to do so otherwise and have to ask to go to the bathroom, which upsets teachers because we are cutting into their precious class time. Having them on our backs all the time about getting our work done and making sure our grades stay up, it was overwhelming the majority of the time. They told us that we weren’t mature enough to make certain decisions, but that there would come a time when we would be. Teachers always told us that the things they did were in our best interests because they were preparing us for the perils of college. Fast forward to now, I know that in college nothing will be the same. In the short period of time between high school graduation and your first day of college, you’ve magically become an adult. Professors don’t care enough about each individual student to always be on their backs. You don’t get babied and you sure as hell don’t have to ask to go to the bathroom. You can not show up to class for a week and it will go unnoticed by your professors. Professors are only there to teach and if you do not get on board with that, you’ll fail. They’re not there to hold your hand every step of the way to make sure that you don’t fall. We’ve had so much help so that we don’t fail in high school, but in college, failure is inevitable. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that, honestly, I’m scared of having to go to college. I’m scared of having to make my own decisions and being completely accountable for my mistakes because no one else can take the blame except for me. I’m scared of having to take a chance on something, knowing that there is a possibility that it won’t work out. I’m scared of being lost and completely confused about what I’m doing with my life. All in all, I’m just scared.
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I know exactly what you're talking about. So although I may not be able to provide any advice on how to alleviate your fears, I can at least commiserate with you. Misery loves company they say! I know I have always had the same fears you are experiencing right now, since middle school actually. I've always had at least one teacher who would bombard the class about how hard note taking, tests, and just keeping up is in college. I always thought to myself about the "what ifs," like what if I fail? What if I become a drop out? I was scared because I had this mentality that if I didn't go to college and graduate, then I was less of a person than someone who had. I know now that this is definitely not the case. It's my life. I know that I will do what's best for my future, so I'll go to college and try my hardest to pass and get the career I want, but if it doesn't work out then I can accept that. I may be depressed for a bit, I would probably even cry, but I would at least have narrowed down my options (a lame consolation but still). But I digress. My point is that college might not work out for you but you still have to try, so don't worry too much (a little worry is okay). Just do your best, take life by the horns, and ride that sucker till the end. And Emily, I have seen you in class, I've seen your work so I know if anyone can succeed in college, you can.
ReplyDeleteMan, Emily I totally understand you, since we have known each other from elementary school. Why do teachers have to make us worry so much about college? As if it is the only choice. Then the teachers make the students get in trouble if not told what to do or is being disrespectful. With this it will make students quit and give up on life in the future and not knowing what to do. With this it makes people and students question themselves if following that path is the right choice. Makes students doubt themselves if they are ready for college. Right now, when the students are done sending their applications it makes you wonder if you are ready for college. With that doubt it has cause students to become scared of college, even though college has not started yet. So I too understand and that I am really scared of college. I am really scared because right now my English is still poor, but am trying my best. Since I have always struggle, school makes me wonder to the point that if I can even go to college. To make it worst the teachers in senior years put more pressure and say that the teachers that taught you before weren't doing their teaching right. With this it makes you wonder that you might not even graduate high school. That life is over. For me at least I am still giving my all to see if I make college or not. My main point is that even though you have all this pressure and struggling, you can still do your best and eventually things may turn put well. Since I have known you that your education is good, especially in English, you will make it to college. Go Emily!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you, throughout our whole lives we are told what to do and how to do it but then we are sent to college where no body says anything. You are told you have to go to elementary school and high school but nobody says that we have to go to school anymore it's your choice and that can be very scary.
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ReplyDeleteThe idea of college is terrifying to me as well. I don’t feel like I’ve been prepared enough to be out and about on my own. In high school we have gotten a lot of help when it comes to learning, but looking at your post I’ve realized that it was too much. In college we're not going to get study guides or review games, it’s on us to take our education into our own hands. We have the opportunity to ask ourselves if we want to learn and if it’s really worth it. Is that terrifying? Yes. I’m hoping that I will have enough strength and willpower to pull through and not get upset because a professor didn’t take the time to learn how to say my name
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why high school is all about reaching criterias and learning different things. I believe that it should be more about getting us prepared for college and what's to come after college. All of my college friends that I talk to now are saying "man, college is a huge jump. Prepare yourself" but how am I supposed to prepare myself being taught too like this. I wish school was more about preparing you for the next level in life rather than learning stuff you're not gonna use 10 years from now.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you on this subject. I don't really like how the American school system is set up and how we are coddled through high school. It's extremely overwhelming to me as well, and I am absolutely terrified of dropping the ball in college. But on the other hand I'm also extremely excited to have a new learning experience and not have tedious homework and mandatory classes for all four years. It's kind of bitter sweet to me I suppose and I really can't wait to see what happens.
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